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October 12, 2019
8:23 AM - Ella’s Bellas
... Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.*... irritating exchange with H on a FB post I made disavowing hate, she, though she does not see it that way, accused me of “hate shaming” or cowering in the face of hate shaming... some preliminary internet research indicates hate is a self preservative emotion that serves to distance ourselves from threatening persons, situations, social situations... compassion is the generally prescribed antidote, compassion for others and for self... thus, MLK, hate can not drive out hate, only love can do that... compassion is love and needs to be extended to others as well as self... hatred, generally speaking, wishes the destruction of the hated... my main contention is that there are very few individuals, groups, situations, that warrant full and unabashed hatred, that instead, we should restrict ourselves to expressing anger, which doesnt usually rise to the level of destruction, especially if the anger is heard and taken seriously... how to move forward then... cloudy this morning, did the 52 loop, shot with the Nikon as i did yesterday, good to change things up from time to time...
*Martin Luther King Jr
October 11, 2019
8:40 AM - Ella’s Bellas
... P commented on a FB post of mine, more responding to H than what i posted, a pile on ensued, I was not happy, she rarely comments, i would like conversation with people who think differently, a cousin willing to comment on my thread is one i might be able to talk to... interesting article in Huffington Post, will the world start to treat us as a rogue nation, how would they apply pressure to alter our course... currently, we hold most of the cards, that is changing, accelerated by the thuggish behavior of the Trump administration... a pretty morning... behind again in photo processing and posting, work constantly at it but fall behind, constantly, don’t know how to keep that from happening... i sit here, hoping, as i often do, something truly meaningful will surface in my brain to write down, something of value... i come up empty much of the time, perhaps that i try is the important thing, once and a while i don’t come up empty... moving on...
October 10, 2019
8:23 AM - Ella’s Bellas
... warm roll smothered in butter, what chilly mornings made for... world looks worse and worse, well, humanity looks worse and worse, bent on screwing itself, try to rise to the 50k foot level, see what’s going on, what is our place in it?, a man up front visiting Beacon for the first time, finding out about if from M... butternut squash soup for dinner, kale and fennel salad, ham and gruyere grilled cheese sandwiches, perfect light supper... sitting here, waiting for inspiration to strike, rarely does when i ask it to, but then this writing, this journal writing, is just what comes into my mind... we live well... just saying... H will work her last day next Wednesday, then she is free, we are free, to move about the country... dreaming about a new car, a CRV that will more comfortably contain our travel gear...
October 09, 2019
8:26 AM - Ella’s Bellas
... happy anniversary to us!, twenty years, blink of an eye... good salon last night, if brief, water reflection photos well received, S’s photos of G extremely well received... cloudy, fall chill in the air, almost not dressed warmly enough... screaming music on sound system, J’s influence probably, likes the screaming music, J is getting over a cold, sounds bad but says she is feeling way better than she was... attacks on the Kurds reported to have begun last night, horrible situation, horrible DT, wondering if this will be the blow that brings down the Republican stone wall... hooked up with a couple of centrist conservative publications, want to know what rational conservatives are thinking and saying, have no use for extremists of any kind... listened to fascinating On Being podcast last night, about the godson of David Duke and an Orthodox Jewish man who befriended him and helped change his mind about white supremacism, not sure it is a story that can easily be repeated, it took two years of constant contact with the “other” and some fortuitous circumstances, but it offers hope, if two people who have every reason to recoil from one another can bridge the gulf between them, there is hope for humanity, the world has many of these stories to offer up, it is important to tell them regularly...
October 08, 2019
9:04 AM - Big Mouth Coffee Roasters
... made an appointment to get hair cut and braided tomorrow, sprucing up for H, our 20th wedding anniversary... asked if anyone else into Mind Hunters, which H and i are into, a bunch of women responded, no men, have read that women are the biggest consumers of crime stories, especially serial killer stories, H theorizes it is because women feel vulnerable to these crimes, want to understand them, an effort to keep themselves safer, this rings true to me, men lack this compelling interest, therefore not as into them, would be interested to know if true... late start to walk this morning, waited for rain to stop, short slow walk down MS, took a bunch of pictures, interesting to see if any turn out... attractive woman with roman nose sitting at table near by, friend joins her, warm excited greeting, seem to be getting to know each other... lots of interesting exchange on FB this morning... interesting article on Nixon/Trump media situation, Trump much better supported than Nixon by conservative right wing media...
October 07, 2019
8:34 AM - Big Mouth Coffee Roasters
… money getting tight, thought it would, i have built up surplus in HELC to meet this period, we will be ok... a good walk, i wasn’t expecting to get any walk, the rain is holding off till later in the day… no exterior work today… need to figure out and print what i am taking to salon tomorrow, very nice African American barista today… young woman walking by in a trance, sipping her coffee from a metal mug, on her way to the back parking lot, on her way to work?… wondering if it is important to the average person whether democracy continues or not, the farmers reportedly in despair and see no option but to support DT, believe his lies… i don’t think politics has ever been a truth telling profession, but i wonder if it is particularly bad now, did truth ever matter?… young dad and toddler boy walking out, dad asking toddler boy if he wants to go pay some taxes, there is time for that dad, there is time for that… made a great “Spanish Style” lamb stew last night, served it with popovers and a roasted eggplant and red pepper salad… plotting next submissions, might as well keep rolling with the work that is succeeding…
October 06, 2019
5:17 AM - My Studio
… software update, twiddling my thumbs if thumb typing is a form of thumb twiddling… Tom Paxton last night at TC, fun show, familiar with a number of songs… T the new box office manager, played at open mic, offered job… harvested ducks yesterday, cute and cuddly one minute, headless the next, i stick with my commitment to kill at least a few of the animals i eat…
7:47 AM - Trax Coffee Shop
… slow walk down Main Street, had it in mind to go further but back was bothering me, decided to stop here… Instagram, Tumblr photo posting done, little response on Tumblr, odd, i have 400+ followers there, would think i would get a few more… R asked me if i was interested in being part of new photography group, i have heard of this group and know some of the people in it, surprised to not have been asked before… two days without alcohol, i feel better… But the enthusiast of separations, seeking paths unhaunted by the hordes, withdraws to the extreme margin and follows the rim of the circle, which he cannot cross so long as he is subject to the body; yet Consciousness soars farther, quite pure in an ennui without beings or objects. No longer suffering, superior to the excuses which invite dying, Consciousness forgets the man who supports it. More unreal than a star glimpsed in some hallucination, it suggests the condition of a sidereal pirouette—while on life’s circumference the soul promenades, meeting only itself over and over again, itself and its impotence to answer the call of the Void.*… and so what?… EMC proposes the condition of perpetual Sunday which he believes would be an abomination intolerable to the masses as it would expose their true condition, meaningless existence…
* E. M. Cioran, History of Decay